Because I Care - 1/24/22

In my family, we have lost several people to cancer. My paternal grandfather, my maternal grandmother & grandfather, a cousin’s husband, my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law’s wife & my own father, just to name a few. Others in our family have battled it and are currently in remission. When Tim and I started sharing my diagnosis, I learned of other family members who had breast cancer diagnoses, ones I was unaware of.

Sometimes people do not talk about a cancer diagnosis. They keep it private and do not share it with others. I’ve always wondered why. Is there a stigma about sharing news of a possibly terminal illness? Is there a shame that is somehow felt that they were the ones who caused their condition? Did they not know what they were facing because Drs didn’t educate them enough? I am not sure, and I know that I will never know. What I do know is that once I heard the words “you have breast cancer,” I wanted to and felt compelled to talk about it.

I have not been shy about sharing my story. I have learned as much information as I can about my diagnosis and anything and everything breast cancer related. I have engrossed myself in the breast cancer community and am learning from other amazing and inspirational women. When asked how I am doing, I am honest and don’t sugarcoat things (well, maybe I do a little). I have shared pictures of my bruised and scarred chest because it is what it is – it’s the reality of breast cancer and what it has done to me. In a nutshell, cancer sucks! There is no other way to say it. My diagnosis will always be a part of me. It’s my life now.

My story began the day I was diagnosed, but it is still being written, and I will share it as long as I can because I care. I share my story not so that people will feel sorry for me or for the attention, just the opposite. I share my story and talk about my experience to bring awareness to the importance of women getting annual mammograms, doing monthly self-exams, and helping educate people about breast cancer and what someone diagnosed with breast cancer goes through. Not many people know that chemo is not always the standard treatment for everyone. They don’t know that you don’t have to “look like a cancer patient” to be battling cancer. They don’t know that nerve endings are severed when you have a mastectomy, leaving the chest area without feeling. You don’t always end up with beautiful new breasts; they are far from natural-looking or feel, for that matter. Some women choose to remain flat and not reconstruct, or if they do go through reconstruction, it is a process and not a one-and-done surgery (that one was even news to me).

We have a niece on Tim’s side of the family who is 35 years old. She is a half-sister, cousin, wife, bonus Mom to 2 fantastic teenage boys, and mom to a beautiful daughter. In December, she called me and told me that she had gone to a health fair with her husband hosted by his employer. One of the services they were offering was free mammograms. Since she is only 35, she had never had a mammogram but asked if she could have one done. Surprisingly, they said yes. During the mammogram, they saw something that looked unusual. It was recommended that she have it looked at further with an ultrasound. An ultrasound was done a week or so later, which resulted in a biopsy of the area in question. A few days later, she was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Again, she is 35 years old! Routine mammograms do not start until a woman is 40, but she thought she’d ask to have one done because I share my story. Not because we have a genetic link, but because she advocated for herself.

Thankfully, her breast cancer has been caught early and is treatable. As I write, she is home recovering from her bilateral mastectomy and the great news last week that her surgical margins & lymph nodes were both clear. She is a true Warrior! Her diagnosis also prompted genetic testing, which uncovered that she carries the BRCA2 gene mutation that predisposes her to ovarian cancer.

We are so thankful that she took the initiative to have that mammogram done and that she was not told “NO” because she is too young. Likewise, we are thankful that the suspicious area was not dismissed because she is “too young to get breast cancer.” Her story could have taken a totally different path if she had not taken the initiative. With the knowledge that SHE has gained and learned, she can now help her sisters and daughter be more aware of their possible risks and be proactive with their health. I know that she will share her story with others when she is ready because she knows the impact it can have.

My breast cancer experience has empowered me in ways that I never thought it would. I am finding a purpose from my diagnosis and ways to make a difference. Until that changes, I will continue to share my story because I care.