Love, Lizard

A dear friend whom I met through an online Mom’s group passed away in 2017 from an exceedingly rare form of sarcoma.  One thing she asked all of us before she left us was “Promise me you will always try to find the silver lining”.  Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I have tried to live by that mantra. It hasn't been easy, but at times if I look hard enough, I’ve been able to find it….the silver lining.

 

Hi, my name is Libby! At the end of June 2020, after the COVID shutdown, I went for my annual mammogram, where an unusual area was noticed, and I was called back in for additional images (which was not unusual for me having "dense breasts"). After having an ultrasound and six core biopsies done, I was notified on July 16th at 8 pm (I'll never forget that call) that I had breast cancer.  The phone call rocked our world!  Having no close family history of breast cancer, I never even thought that it could happen to me, but it was!  I cried, freaked out, and panicked, and then told my husband that we could do this and fight it (while deep down inside, I was scared beyond belief). After additional testing, biopsies, and imaging, the plan was to have a bilateral mastectomy and start the reconstruction process at the same time.  On August 31st (our 18th wedding anniversary) I had my surgery and began my fight to kick cancer's ass.  I'm not going to lie; it's been incredibly hard both physically and emotionally, but I am still alive! 

 

Shortly after my diagnosis, my friend Shannon made me a set of beaded bracelets that said BRAVE, LOVED, STRONG, & YOU GOT THIS.  I immediately put them on and have not taken them off other than for my surgeries.  They have brought me so much hope, courage, and strength. During one of my sessions with my Oncology Counselor, she suggested that I do something that I enjoyed as an outlet to refocus my anxiety when it crept up on me. I have always been creative and artistic, so I thought about it and tried to figure out what I could do. I taught myself to crochet after my dad passed away in 2013, but I did not want to do that again.  A few weeks went by, and I just could not come up with something that would not cost me an arm and a leg, was something that would be easy to do, was repetitive enough to take my mind off of things & possibly something that I could do while watching TV at night with my husband. Then I thought about the bracelets that Shannon made for me. I thought, why couldn’t I make bracelets and GIFT them to women diagnosed with or battling breast cancer in hopes that I can give them the same encouragement and comfort with bracelets that mine have brought me?  I headed to Hobby Lobby, bought some supplies, and got busy. I soon had a Ziploc bag FULL of bracelets that had all different words on them but mostly the original words I was given. 

 

I started sending my bracelets out. I sent “SURVIVOR” bracelets to friends in my Online Mom’s group who have all either completed their treatment or are currently in active treatment for breast cancer – there are 5 of them. I sent bracelets to some women in my “circle” that I know through the boys’ school or my former employer, all who have been diagnosed with breast cancer and one who is a breast cancer survivor & was recently diagnosed with a different form of cancer – there are 3 of them. I had a friend ask me if I could talk to a friend of hers who was recently diagnosed and had some questions. I just felt that she needed some encouragement, so off a set went to her.  I offered to make them for women in my online support groups and some took me up on my offer.  Bracelets have been sent all over the United States, Canada and England!

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​But the coolest part of all of this is and what really fueled my excitement for making my bracelets, was an exchange with the National Breast Cancer Foundation regarding their HOPE Kits. A HOPE Kit is a wonderful care package that is sent to a woman who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Typically, they are paid for by someone and sent as a gift but can also be requested by a patient themselves. In the HOPE Kits, are all sorts of donated items like lotions, Chapstick, a journal & pen, a beanie, Thrive cosmetics makeup, candy, cards, socks, and other things that can be used during treatment. I somehow received THREE of the awesome boxes. Because I had already received one, I passed the other 2 on to women I knew so that they could benefit from them too. In my email, I asked if NBCF might be interested in some of my bracelets for their HOPE Kits. After sending a few pictures to the Director of Support Services, she responded, “These are beautiful! We would love to include them in the HOPE kits! Bracelets with the word “HOPE” on them would be perfect”!  So…..I got busy making a set of 100 bracelets that I sent off to the NBCF!  My beaded bracelets that say HOPE, BRAVE & SURVIVOR have been sold on the NBCF website, with the proceeds from the sales going back into their program. I was so honored and humbled that my bracelets would not only be worn by the women to whom I would personally send them to but also by women who purchased theirs from the NBCF website!

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While I haven’t had to go through as much as some women do regarding treatment, I have always been open and willing to share my experience when it comes to my journey. Breast Cancer forever changed me, and I feel driven to make a difference. I am not one of those who will go out and change legislation or raise vast amounts of money to fund research, but instead, I am doing it one bracelet at a time. I am doing it by reaching out to women I feel connected to and gifting them my bracelets under the name “Love, Lizard,” I may read a post on Facebook or connect with someone on Instagram and send them some encouragement. I remember the early days in my diagnosis when my head was spinning, and I wished someone would have reached out to me and said, “I know you are scared; I’m here for you.” That’s what I’m doing.

 

Many women that I have gifted bracelets to stay in touch with me. We communicate frequently, and they keep me posted on how they are doing. We share updates on how we are as well as our concerns and fears. It is messages I receive when someone receives their bracelets like “They feel lucky and made with LOVE!!!”, “This gift was the most sincere token I’ve received. Thank you so much, and while I have no idea where this journey will take me, I definitely will remember this sentiment and pay it forward.” “Thank you so much – I love it!! And thank you for paying it forward by creating and gifting these inspirational bracelets to our cancer sisters!” that keeps me going and pushes me to continue doing what I’m doing.

 

I am active in the breast cancer world through social media and have had requests even for “non-cancer” related bracelets from people across the country and even from the other side of the globe! I love contributing to special fundraisers and giveaways if it means possibly helping someone else out with an encouraging word or two! So….I guess you could say I am making a difference, even if it is a little one & one strand at a time!

 

Where does "Love, Lizard" come from?  Well...Lizard is the nickname that my Pop gave me as a kid, and it’s been with me ever since. When I crocheted after his death, I opened an Etsy shop and sold what I was making. My store name was "Love, Lizard". When I started making my bracelets, I decided to resurrect the name and use it, and I think it’s fitting! I send my bracelets “with Love” to whomever the recipient may be.