Three Years Ago Today - 7/16/23

This picture was taken on July 12, 2020. At that moment, I was clueless that I had a deadly monster inside me. 1,095 days ago, I heard four words I never thought I would hear said to me; “you have breast cancer,” and my life changed drastically.

In a matter of weeks, we made the difficult decision for me to undergo a bilateral mastectomy and start the reconstruction process simultaneously. Life had been a blur, and we believed that we had been given all the information we needed to make an informed decision, only to learn later that what we were not, and it is the only part of this journey that I am on that I regret and I would do differently. Someday I might, but I’m not quite ready just yet.

Three years ago, I became a member of the worst club that there is and one that no one voluntarily seeks to join. But at the same time, I joined throngs of women who I had something in common with, and incredible bonds with so many of them were created. These are women who I am proud and honored to call my friends and sisters. With them, I have shared the pain of loss, survivor's guilt, horrible anxiety and PTSD caused by testing and scans, fears of recurrence, and the celebration of milestone anniversaries!

Every day that I wake up is a gift and one that I am incredibly thankful for, but at the same time, it makes me want to turn back the clock and get my life back before breast cancer, but I know that’s not possible. This is the hand that I was dealt and the one that I have to play as best as I can and as long as I am allowed to. Some days are easier than others, and some days I wonder if it really happened to me, but all I have to do is look at my reflection in the mirror or run my hand across the numb skin that used to be my breasts, and reality sinks back in.

Cancer is a thief that robs people of things that they cherish. It steals family, friends, spouses, lovers, children, and sometimes pieces of themselves. But what it does give is an insight and change in perspective. My diagnosis has forced me to focus on what is important to ME. It has taught me to cherish the little moments that become more significant memories. It has forced me to focus not only on the people I love but even more so on myself and do what is best for me. It has taught me to fiercely advocate for myself like I have never had to because I matter just as much as any other cancer patient or survivor. It has inspired me to make a difference for other women by becoming a mentor. Now I am taking steps to start an initiative for plastic surgeons to not only tell women facing reconstruction about the options that THEY can perform but tell them about EVERY option available whether they can perform the procedure or not. Every woman deserves to be educated about every option - it’s not about the surgeons; it’s about US!

Today I acknowledge the day that changed the course of my life path and began my transformation into the version of me that I never knew existed.

💋 XOXO